⚠ WARNING: SYSTEM OVERLOAD - //slay_ride.virus// DETECTED. EVACUATE ALL HOLIDAY NORMS ⚠
This audio stream is part of a classified experiment. Playback will loop eternally. There is no exit. Track order is locked by subroutines older than time. Auditory exposure may trigger subliminal unrest.
If you feel a presence behind you, remain still. Santa sees everything. The sleigh cannot be stopped.
Your access has been timestamped. Monitoring has begun.